"Cancer is a Marathon, not a sprint"

I had a sweet reminder from my dearest (and longest consistent, at this point) friend, Tom. He was writing to me after the scans. He said, "Battling cancer is a marathon not a sprint...pace yourself and prepare for this to take longer than you think..." I know people have said words like that before, but it means so much coming from another cancer survivor - a cancer survivor who knows me - who has known me since I was 14 years old (the same age as my D). A man who knows that I do not normally take life with pause and patience (or anything with patience, let's be honest).

I do have sincere emotional struggles, but it's not my nature to share them in such a public forum. I do want everyone to know (who might wonder) that I am seeing both a counselor and a spiritual director (more like 2 spiritual directors) during this time. We were waiting on the first scans to know what direction to take for both physical healing but also spiritual and emotional healing...because these are all very closely related. I am currently building a "team" of prayer warriors and medical professionals who have my shared vision of complete and total healing from this cancer. Because the current medical thought is that I can never be totally "cured" of cancer after being classified as stage 4 and that I'll be on chemo for the rest of my life...

I'll share little bits of this as I go along because I believe with my whole heart that what God really desires is for me to be healed as a total person. That He has a plan that far exceeds anything anyone (including myself) has in store for me. One of my spiritual directors told me to keep in mind that "'God is your Primary Care Physician', He's the only one who truly knows what is possible and necessary for your healing."

I believe that God's Mercy and Love are so much greater than any of my fears. All I want is for everyone to know how much God loves them. That He is real. That all he wants is for people to fall in love with Him. That all of our postmodern angst and cynicism is a wall we've created to keep ourselves from who we are truly meant to be. If this cancer can be the sign that the walls can fall - I will embrace every. long. moment. And when my "glass-always-full writing style" seems to be too much or not real, feel free to text or email or call and I'll cry with you within seconds. Because I normally turn all of my Darkness over to God (or poor Shawn) but I am not getting out of all of this without walking through that Valley too.

Can't part without words that are now my life's goal from St. Maria Faustina (the Divine Mercy Saint):  "582. The interior of my soul is like a large and magnificent world in which God and I live. Except for God, no one is allowed there." (since I'm married, Shawn will always be allowed, of course and I'm happy to share my intimacy with God with him too).

A fuzzy picture of Tom and I when we were seniors in high school (nice hair, I know)

 The Image of Divine Mercy that St Faustina had in a vision. Jesus' heart is radiating his Mercy for the world. The bottom says, "Jesus I trust in You." 

Because no post can end without me being a Princess, I wanted to post of picture because I'm so grateful to still have my hair (see? Still totally vain).