"Not, I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;
Not untwist - slack they may be - these last strands of man
In me or, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;
Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be..."
from Carrion Comfort - Gerard Manley Hopkins
Third round of chemo tomorrow.
It has snuck up on me in some ways. With school beginning, friends visiting and daily life taking over, I have felt really great this week. Almost totally normal today as I ran random errands and negotiated fights between my boys. I've checked assignment notebooks and signed school syllabi. I paid nearly $60 for a uniform sweater that my son will complain about all school year. I have loved every single minute. Every mundane thing is a shout (a yawlp) to the world that, "I am alive!"
The really hot days are wonderful.
The crazy rainstorm and hail are wonderful.
The pedicure I was afraid to get (because of chemo) but turned out amazing is wonderful.
The smelly socks hidden all over my house are wonderful.
My son refusing to eat meal-train broccoli and screaming "Protest!" over and over is wonderful.
My husband just talking about work and meetings (because I am his person) is wonderful
I spent a good amount of time feasting on Despair...but everyday I'm reminded that I "can something." And right now, my something is being alive and noticing how wonderful it all is.
Tonight, we'll watch the final rounds of Master Chef on TV & I'll spend tomorrow thinking about these memes:
Jesus, I trust in You.
PS - Shawn's softball team did really well in their final game and he loves his team. I love that he still gets to do what makes him happy.
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