Post chemo #6 and Feast of St Francis of Assisi

Yesterday was a quiet one for me. Spent most of the time talking with Shawn and praying during chemo. I was sent to sit on the other side of the room, so I missed my "man-group" buddies. But, they all stopped by to ask, "what are you doing over here?" as they would leave. I met a few nice friends on the "other side," and I was able to pass out more info on the Fenbendazole (yesterday's crazy supplement) to a lady with stage 4 pancreatic (pancreatic is tough). I don't ever tell other cancer patients about the Fenben because we get a lot of crazy recommendations already, but she asked me what supplements I take, so I went with it.

As I was praying, yesterday, I was asking God to cover my T-cells (the good ones) with the blood of Jesus and picturing that the chemo was rushing through my body washing the bad cancer cells away into my ostomy bag (it's really important to picture the cancer cells leaving or they decide to squat somewhere else and that's bad). I have learned a good deal about visualization (I have brothers who are basketball coaches and use a lot of visualization) and that the body often can't tell the difference between what is "real" and what "we visualize as happening." So, I was visualizing God putting teflon around my good cells (to keep away side effects) and the chemo rushing away with the cancer to this ridiculous bag at my abdomen. The funny visual that came to me through all of this was that Jesus was standing next to me using "Dr Strange" (from the Marvel movie) powers.  Jesus would use his hands to "lift" the spots of cancer out of me and wad them all into a ball and set them into my ostomy bag to be flushed out.

Bottom line is that I feel really good today. Much better than last week already (although Fri & Sat can be good days because of steroid lingering). I had a bit of the arthritis in my forearms and hands, but it's not overwhelming like last week. I'm going with Jesus as Dr Strange on this one.

I wanted to also give a quick shout out to St. Francis of Assisi (whose feast is today). I think we have/had a lot in common (only the first part and the sickness...but I'm trying!):

"No one loved pleasure more than Francis; he had a ready wit, sang merrily, delighted in fine clothes and showy display. Hansdome, gallant, fun and courteous, he soon became a favorite of the young nobles of Assisi...the very king of the frolic. But even at this time Francis showed an instinctive sympathy for the poor." Francis went to war and then struggled with illness, where he seems to have had a conversion of heart. He decided he wanted to be married to "Lady Poverty" and had beautiful visions and messages from God.  He had many amazing things happen, then notably traded clothes with a poor beggar and began preaching love, penance and peace in Assisi and the area around Assisi while begging for simple food, rocks to rebuild churches that were falling apart and for things to give to the poor. He lived in a little hut near Assisi in a town named "Porziuncola" and soon had a number of followers who would go into the town square and give away all of their earthly possession (and get robes of beggar's cloth like Francis). They would then build huts and follow Francis. These followers were eventually called the "Friars Minor" (The littlest Friars)." 

It's all such a beautiful story, it's better to read the long version here: St Francis Story I have loved St Francis for a long time, but mainly after college at the Franciscan University and then when I spent a semester in Europe (Austria) where we took a 10 day trip to Assisi and I was able to see the actual places of his life and St Clare (his cousin who followed him and began an order of sisters in Assisi).

I always feel as though this sickness and the practical sides of it have brought me to such a deeper place, that I can only hope that I can come through the other side (I'm assuming now) and begin to do even more to help others. I don't think I'll lose my love for "fine clothes" or "The frolic" but I would like to find ways to help the poor and desperate and lonely even more.

And maybe after "Dr Strange Jesus" gets rid of this cancer, he'll be able to show me where to start. This blog is just the first thing :)

Healing Bible verse of the day:
Deuteronomy 30:19 "I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live."

Yeah, I choose life.
Jesus, I trust in you (Dr Strange or classic version)
Salve Regina.