First Chemo Down

I am writing right after my first chemo treatment because I know that a number of people are worried and I will feel better knowing I let family and friends know before I go to bed for awhile.

All is well. The nurses (and many people who've been through it) assured me that the anxiety before the first chemotherapy makes it one of the most difficult.  "But it's mostly mental..." They said. And, because I would describe myself as "mostly mental" this was true of my experience too.

I currently feel tired and like I just got off a long plane ride (for work - or for the end of a vacation). Everything was fine and just as it was supposed to be, but I'd rather be sleeping. I did fall asleep on a visitor, which makes me sad. I will most likely plan on sleeping through the next few cycles.

But here is a quick run-down of the day (Now with pictures!)

Started the day at 8am. They accessed the port below my clavicle. The paperwork said I was 5'5" and 150 lbs. Feel free to laugh as I bet those were my stats when I was in 8th grade. They had to call my doctor to get a correct level of medications. It took about an hour, but was fine since we had nowhere to be. 

I've heard that Chemo treatment rooms vary in terms of what they are like. At my cancer center, there were 10 or so reclining chairs, a snack bar, water stations and the nurses were very very nice. It was a little like a high-end nail salon where everyone is sad (not really. No one seemed super sad). Here was my view for a lot of the day. So cute. 

The bag where my meds were kept before being used. The irony was not lost on me. 

Two of my 3 chemo meds and some other stuff used in my treatment  protocol. If you click on the bag with the red sticker, it  reads:"Hazardous Materials." I actually said to the nurse, "kinda freaks a girl out that you're dripping that into my veins."  I am totally opposed to chemo drugs, but I will fight this stupid cancer with everything I can and until one of you builds one of those Sci-fi "insta-heal" chambers, this is part of my best bet. 

Before I leave, I get a pump filled with "5FU" (also not lost on me or my sense of humor) that I wear for 3 days as it slowly drips medicine into me. I wore bad clothes for a picture contrast, but it's like a little purse connected to the port at my shoulder. If you're keeping score, I now have 1. bag and 1. chemo pump. I'm like a traveling gypsie.  But the smile on my face reflects how I feel. Tired, OK, and happy to have the First One down. 

An old friend (PH) sent me this prayer this morning and I wanted to say Thank You by posting it. "May every cancerous cell be cast out and replaced with good ones" is some good praying right there :)

Lastly, I had a beautiful talk with a Priest friend and he said, "I think you just need to spend time in quiet letting God love you. You need to feel that He genuinely LOVES you." And I did that a lot yesterday, just let God and Shawn love me. And all of today was a bonus.