Chemo Recovery

Well...as previously posted, chemo went as well as I could expect. The next 3 days were pretty rough - a lot of strange pains, extreme fatigue - but less side effects than I worried about - that could come with later treatment cycles. The best comparisons of the actual feelings are a terrible hangover or a difficult first trimester of pregnancy. Maybe even a really bad flu -  but the feeling that my body was not my own sticks with me even as I start to bounce back. It's hard to know what to eat. It's hard to want to eat. It's hard not to yell at every single person I spoke with. It was hard not to irrationally hate the sweet nurse who removed my pump on Thursday. It was easiest to watch one of the dumbest, mind-numbing shows ever created, Below Deck, and wonder if I would ever complain that my caviar wasn't beluga. Spoiler, no.

I have to watch shows that I hate because I'm so sad that I have to spend afternoons watching shows at all. I don't want to make a mistake and end up hating a show I would have really liked if it weren't for my chemo-haze.

Today, we are all headed back up to the cabin. Because it's cooler there and easier to take long walks. Because it's quiet and doesn't have internet. Because riding a 4-wheeler through the National Forest is so much like a prayer. It's the most beautiful place in the world.

O Blood and Water,
which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus
as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.

Photos of the cabin deck, where I pray and we sit: