Hearing God's Voice

Sometimes - like today - my boys and I will get into a really good conversation on the way to school. Today was more of a simple day where we were just discussing everyday topics. But, at one point, H says, "When I'm in high school, we can..." I forget what he said because my heart had stopped. H is 8.  He's in third grade. He will be entering high school in 5 school years.

Five years. The boys jumped out of the car at school and all I could think was, "Please let me be here, God. Please." I pray the Rosary on the way home - so I started praying and then I started crying. When we pray the Rosary, we think about (reflect on) different parts of Jesus' life and/or death. Today (because it's Thursday), I was praying what are known as "The Luminous Mysteries." These are five events in Jesus' life as recorded in the Bible: His Baptism, the Wedding Feast at Cana, The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God, the Transfiguration, and the Institution of the Eucharist (the Last Supper).

I was reflecting on Jesus' baptism where God says, "This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased." I thought how nice it must have been for Jesus to hear the voice of God when He knew that it was going to all end in His death. While I prayed I said (to God), "I just wish I could hear your voice." Even if I am also going to my death, it seems like hearing from God would really help in the motivation department.

When I got home, I decided to read the readings from today's Mass. Just a little background that every day in almost every Catholic Church, there is a church service (we call it "daily Mass") and the structure of the service/Mass is always the same. There is a reading from the Old Testament, a reading from a Psalm and then a Reading from the Gospel (a New Testament reading is added on Sundays).  These readings are (hypothetically) the same in every Catholic Church throughout the entire world. So, if you go into a Mass in Colorado you would hear the same readings that day as at a Mass in California and Canada and France and Hong Kong.

There are a lot of publications and apps that have these readings for anyone to read every day. If I can't make it to Mass, I'll often read these readings for my prayer.

The first reading was from the book of Esther:

"Queen Esther, seized with mortal anguish, had recourse to the Lord. She lay prostrate on the ground...and said: God of Abraham, God of Issac, and God of Jacob, blessed are you. Help me, who am alone and have no help but you...Turn our mourning into gladness and our sorrows into wholeness..." 

The Psalm was 138:

Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me. "When I called, you answered me; you built up strength within me...Your right hand saves me. The Lord will complete what he has done for me; your kindness, O Lord, endures forever; forsake not the work of your hands..."

The Gospel was Matthew 7:7-12:

The Answer to Prayers.7^e “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.^f8For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.^g9Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread,^*10or a snake when he asks for a fish?11If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.^h

Maybe I didn't hear a loud voice but I truly believe that God was speaking to me in these readings. That He heard me, that He's "got me" and that everything will be ok.

Shawn and I head to Nashville for just the day tomorrow. We'll be home in the evening. Just in time for the first case of Coronavirus to reach Tennessee. But it's totally worth it to get some time with Dr Cantrell and hear what he thinks about my latest scans.