I was tempted to title this post "...it's the end of the world as we know it - and I feel fine." It seemed too cheesy even for me.
But seriously, what a week this has been, right??
Last Monday (I cannot believe it was only 7 days ago), I was unhappily sticking to my "clearing out" diet while we awaited my Tuesday "ostomy-reversal" surgery date.
Tuesday (3/10), I arrived at the hospital at 5:30am for 7:30 am surgery. I was excited to see the last of my "bag" but I was basically hangry-starving after 2 days of not eating. Surgery was totally routine and I was in my room by 9am. What an amazing thing to look down after 8 months to see only staples in my belly. No bag, no poop. It was (and is) very exciting to me.
I had a few visitors, made myself get up and walk like a good patient and vegged out waiting to be released.
Of course, we all know that the world went crazy Wednesday morning(3/11). First, the President declared a National state of emergency. Second, pretty much every business or group that has ever been given my email started sending their coronavirus plans & statements to my inbox. Third, I was told that my boys' school was cancelled (they gave an ending date but it's "indefinitely" and I think we all know it).
I received a number of emails and/or texts where people teased that this is a terrible time to need twice the toilet paper that I had been using for the last 8 months. The irony was not lost on me. But I wouldn't take that bag back for the world.
By the time I was released from the hospital on Thursday morning, nearly everything had been cancelled. The world is reeling.
In some ways, I feel like everyone else has caught up to how I've been feeling for awhile. I think we all know that most people in the US will not die from this virus, but it's the total uncertainty of what will happen between now and the summer that has everyone on edge. Will the hospitals have enough beds? Enough ventilators for the people who develop pneumonia? It seems like this is a problem in Italy right now - and they are 13 days ahead of the US. I am a little desperate for the health of our friends with compromised immune systems: my God-daughter who just had open-heart surgery, her older brother with cystic fibrosis, our next door neighbor, my chemotherapy friends who are older.
I honestly don't know if I fall into the "compromised immunity" group. Up until now, my white blood cell count has been very high and healthy. Our family has decided to go on total lockdown until I am able to see my doctors. I see Dr N (my GI doc) on Wednesday and he will most likely give me the "all-clear" to begin chemo again. I don't have a chemo schedule yet but this has become infinitely more complicated as the cancer center develops a plan to keep everyone as healthy as possible. I was there having blood drawn this morning, and it seems as though they will only allow cancer patients in to the office, we have to all wear masks and be totally separate from one another the entire process (to recap, my chemo takes around 5 hours to complete). I will update the blog when I know more. Quite frankly, I don't think the office staff was sure about what was going to happen.
What I can say with all certainty is that I am very peaceful about everything. Our entire family is peaceful and enjoying one another. I feel as though God gave me almost a year of prep in trusting that He loves us and that it's all going to be alright. We don't have any anxiety at all. Not because we're crazy, or avoiding the truth, but because we know that this is all in the Hand of God.
I'm praying for everyone and you know where we'll be if you need us!
More tomorrow!
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